Sunday, September 23, 2012

The One You Left Behind-Ch 5

Please read the page "The One You Left Behind- Disclaimer and such" at the top of the page before you read this. This is entry 5 of a mini series to read all other entries please see the link section in my side bar near the middle of the page, right below blog archive. Cant miss it. :) Thanks!

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Love, The One You Left Behind (11-22-07)

Well its Thanksgiving and I would normally be busy eating and talking to family but since you left I kinda haven't felt like being around that side of the family. I can't say why, but before I loved talking to them and hanging out with them but since you left they just kinda annoy me and I find myself being quiet and reserved around them. I know what you're thinking. ME? Quiet and reserved? yeah I know but its true. So I just try not to go around them anymore so finally your mother let me spend this Thanksgiving with my dad. You know its kinda funny that I haven't mentioned him yet. I still go see him every weekend, but idk its not really like seeing him. Its more like seeing my lil bros and sister. Me and his wife have gotten really close too. I consider her a really close friend. Wanna know something shocking? Right after you died I hated her. Like literally hated her. Ok I guess that's really not a shock, but I wish I knew why? I didn't like her at first cause she was taking my dad away and I know its stupid but I was young and didn't know much better. Then I hated her cause she was like my "new mommy" and well she doesn't compare, not to be mean or anything but you were spectacular and she is great, but you only get one mom you know? Well she is a great Step Mom now that we have gotten close. She kinda reminds me of you a little now that I think about. She is very independent and thinks about things. She challenges the norm and has a very open mind. I can tell her pretty much anything and she will see things my way but she will also express them as an adult might take it cause well she is an adult. Its really helpful when I have issues like that with your mom. Plus it gives me something to do when I'm over here. I mean I know I should be coming to spend time with my dad but sometimes I can tell that if I'm not playing sports it doesn't really matter to him. Like I love basketball, but sometimes I just wanna sit and watch a movie. The only time he sits to watch anything is if its a game of some sort. And speaking of games he plays his a lot. Like I don't even play my PlayStation anymore because I hate it so much. Not that I hate the actual PlayStation, but if he isn't playing or coaching or watching basketball, he is playing the PlayStation so its kinda like I don't fit in his schedule anymore you know? I kinda think I'm old enough to deal with it though, I mean I wish he would change but if he doesn't I'll be fine, but u know baby is only 2 and well let's just put it this way, I didn't get a call when he said his first word, but I did get one when he bounced a basketball for the first time. I thought that was just kinda wild. Like what is so freaking important about the game of basketball that it has to come first over everything? That's another thing. Basketball just isn't that important to me. You know I was forced to be moved down from A team to B team cause your mother said it would be better for my heart? How does that make any kind of sense? That was just the stupidest piece of crap I had ever heard. But it is a lot funner. People on this team aren't as ruthless. They want to win, but they don't cry if we don't. Its more of a fun thing for us. Not to mention the coach is pretty chill too. It restored my passion for the game a little, but I would still rather do something else. You know whats funny? Dad stopped coming to my games when I switched from A team to B team. He says he has to work and the games are a lil earlier, but I just feel that if I was playing Varsity and my games were at 3 he would just take off to come see it but since its just B team then its not that important. I could be wrong, but its just how I feel. Well in light of Thanksgiving I'll just write you what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful that I have a dad. He may not be the best dad in the entire world, but he is here and that has to count for something right? I mean he tries, and he is getting better. He also picks pretty good women to help him in the Daddy process. lol. I do love my daddy and I'm thankful that I can honestly say he loves me too!

                                                                                                  Love,
                                                                                                 The One You Left Behind
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Brutal Telling from the Wings of a Reawakened Dark Angel by Jay Fallen (JAF) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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