Thursday, October 18, 2012

Pro's, Con's and Middle ground in my Life Today


Positive- 
I'm back at work and getting a full paycheck again so that's nice, not that I really need it I suppose.

My younger boy got his report card today. All A's :) My other boy should be getting his report card on Monday. According to the online grade book he should be getting A's and 2 B's... Huge improvement either way for him.

Football game tomorrow and Sunday :)

My grams brought me some amazing tea leaf things!

About a month left till I go out of town for a week or two.

Another asshole lowlife is on Death Row. Justice will be served soon!

Cleared my life of 27 people earlier today.

The reason some people are in my life is becoming more clear. Now if only I knew what to do with that information.

A couple of great friends that actually support all of my decisions and choices in life and hold me accountable when the outcome goes bad. Yet still offer me comfort. They point out when they disagree with my choices but they still support me when I don't accept their advice about my choices.

My co-workers love me... usually O_o and they are throwing some random party on Monday for me I haven't figured out why....

Boxing benefit on Saturday!! :)

Work HR is working with me to correct a problem or two within the higher-up's.

Very proud of my Nephew's. Each are making amazing grades and doing a fantastic job in football. Two have received some college offers but seem undecided. One is making some very good progress with some personal social issues. Proud of his strength and humble attitude towards things. Keep your head up Breezy!!! The little one's are headed in their big brother's footsteps as well as making a way of their own! Couldn't be more proud.

Proud of my Nieces too. They are doing an amazing job with their Dance and Cheer stuff. They are making great grades. One seems to have a very nice respectful boyfriend that knows if he hurts her or does anything that isn't approved of then he will be hurt LOL. She is making her way towards a scholarship or two so far it seems. And the little one is just making a way for herself and doing a wonderful job at it! Keep up the fantastic work sweethearts!!! Very proud!



Middle-
I went grocery shopping... so we have food in the house again O_o

Pain level is at a medium right now all over.

My ADHD is like non-existent right now... Not sure if that's good or bad... probably both.

December is approaching... Another year come and gone... without you.

I have removed 341 people from my life over the past two months. Some were "good friends."

Furby's are back.......

My boss says that my need to help and rehabilitate and retrain/recover colleague's is and egotistical thing and will get me killed one day.

I dont fear death right now, halfass welcome it.

A couple of people are back in my life, kind of up close and more personal than before.

Made a promise I'm not too fond of but I will be keeping it.

Stuck with a bunch of recruits all day tomorrow.

I got pulled over for no apparent reason and yelled at by a cop from another dept yesterday O_O WTF is that shit?

Bob wants to take me to dinner next week. I'm not sure why. Not sure if its good or bad. At least hes an awesome guy and whatever the reason he will make sure its not too stressful and always has constructive things to say to me, good or bad.

Found out my sister, isn't my sister :( Which has made some things complicated and somethings not. It has made some really tough and interesting decision be presented to me. I think I'll leave those alone though and wait it out a little =/

Starting to see the heartbreak in my son's eyes every time he looks up in the stands and doesn't see his mother there as she promises weekly, disappear. I can't decide if this is good or bad. I'm hoping good but for now it will go here in the middle.


Negative-
Really stressed and probably a bit depressed but it should pass I guess.

Spongebob is on my TV right now, and its really annoying at this point in time -.-

Irritability level is up lately

About a month left till I go out of town for a week or two and I'm not prepared in any form of fashion.

I have 7 books to finish reading EVENTUALLY -.-

Struggling with faith at this moment. Probably due to the depression and stress -.-

Can't find the information I want/need to find online or anywhere else.

My Dyslexia is acting up, due to the fact my reading activities have gone way down in the past 2 months. I was doing really good and things were almost under complete control again and stress was down and so was a lot of other things. I guess I should have continued my new found summer hobby on my own and this problem wouldn't exist. Really looked forward to the help that doing it with someone else would have given me in a couple of areas. Too much broken from that attempt though v.v

I lost 25lbs in Sept. I need to gain 10 more to get back where I was. Harder than this should be right now -.- I hate waiting to heal and not being 100%

My job is trying to kill me. In the past month since I've returned to work, I have been shot at, stabbed, hyper-extended a body part or two. Dislocated my wrist/thumb (didn't even know that was possible). And increasing my stress level 10 times more than it usually does.

I had a vision from my daughter that I'm trying to decipher if it was real or just a dream basically and if I should listen to it or not. It conflicts with two others I had in the past year which I am 99% certain were real. Very confusing and not helping with my stress or anything else.

Court in a month is stressing me out already. The more I find out the worse it gets.

Didn't get to go to the fair this year yet and looks like I won't. Really wanted to though :(

I think I've come to some stand still in my progress with my therapist and group. Scared of taking steps back =/ Scared to take any more steps forward either... Stuck v.v



Thats all I have for now!!!


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Brutal Telling from the Wings of a Reawakened Dark Angel by Jay Fallen (JAF) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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