First of all its been said how I feel. Nothing else can be said about that unless the time is taken to discuss it. Which has not been taken lately. Time has been needed since the 27th of Nov. If not sooner. I get there's some reason as to why but doesn't take 3 weeks to have a conversation either way. Been over it as well about sleeping and decent time's. Was ready at 7pm my time to discuss things... you weren't and had started drama instead of acting like an adult over things in my opinion. So much for the "ill be there anytime of the day or night if you need me" and the "im just a call away" or the "id stay up all night if you needed someone to talk to and cry to"...yet complain about once or twice a week to catch up for a couple hours....Don't talk over text? because nothing is being said. I try to speak to you and you don't respond till hours later if at all. And most things that are said, there is literally nothing that can be said back.... you're at the store... ok wtf do you want me to say to that... have fun shopping? who has fun shopping? and anyone i have said that to, they come back with shopping isn't fun... so whats the point in trying to say it... oh your buying meat? that's nice how much does it cost in a state 1000 miles from me? oh you're eating a sandwich? that's nice i was just at a murder scene and am covered with a woman's blood... bet your sandwich tastes good now.... Want me to start saying more than ok... well then those are the responses you will get... hopefully that's good enough because its all i have... And you are always bitching about not liking text anyway so I don't know what to tell you. And once again, very few emotions that someone else can make you feel unless you allow them to make you feel that way. And there are emotions that are self inflicted. Tired of being blamed for those. Your choice to stay up and when you sleep. Your choice to have a conversation or not and via what way. I haven't asked for it lately. I don't see a point in trying to work stuff out, same things as before. I'm always wrong according to you. Always keeping you up late and making you feel guilty. Not doing what you want me to do when you want it done. Only excuses to you. No point in accessing why I take the stand that I have taken, not point in trying to understand my fears. Seems like you can only see things in black and white/your way. Can't understand someone else's point of view and don't even seem to try. I'm done exhausting my efforts and trying to open up. You always want me to open up but when I try there isn't any time because you are either trying to force me to talk or don't have the time once I am comfortable to try and talk... or it takes weeks to even get to the issue once again once its originally blown off. So I don't know why I bother. BTW, cant respond honestly to things I don't necessarily feel. Not going to say something that could be taken the wrong way or taken out of the way I mean. Probably shouldn't have written this blog but I really don't care right now. Said enough in my last blog. The time will be taken to discuss it or it won't. Not going to beg for the attention or time. Either willingly given to me or not at all. Friendship, time and love are given, not repeatedly asked for. Done asking. Already made that mistake earlier this year. Not going to continue making that mistake of begging for time and attention and friendship. You're a great person and we have our own issues but should be working on them together not taking it out on one another or withdrawing A lot I don't deserve from this, good and bad. Might go the same way with you. I don't know anymore. A lot of the same issues. Not sure why it remains the same. Can't see the screen for a reason or two so done with this post.
Brutal Telling from the Wings of a Reawakened Dark Angel by Jay Fallen (JAF) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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