Afraid to Feel

This is a poem a wrote sort of recently. It may be taken a few different ways. Only I will know the true meaning.

Afraid to feel
Afraid that even the slightest rush
Will turn into a river that I will never escape from
So I keep it bottled up inside
My hand securely on the valve
And wonder if the feelings that are left
Are just an echo of the pain
Or the arrival of my death.

Afraid to feel the correlation of pain and love
Wondering if anybody cares
Burning down bridges and spreading the ashes
Wearing a coat of brilliant color while hiding in the darkness
Staring out into the night and trying to mask the pain

Then I see you pass outside the window
I can read it in your face and I don't know what to say
Screaming on the inside just how much I love you
I probably wouldn't be this way if only I could let you go
I should tell you to leave, but I can never picture
Not spending every waking moment with you.
So instead of facing the pain, I embrace the numbness within.



Brutal Telling from the Wings of a Reawakened Dark Angel by Jay Fallen (JAF) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.