I Won't Cry for This

I wont cry for this. I just don't see the reason. I know to you I might seem heartless and cold, but I promise that's not what it is. It might actually be the exact opposite. This just isn't big enough. I'm not dead yet, although this might be my death sentence. Yes I know this is serious. I know this means a lot. I know this has changed my life forever, but that doesn't mean I have to cry for this.

I wont cry for this. I just don't feel the pain. I know you say you've cried but I don't think you understand. You see this as the end and it could very well be, but isn't there space after the finish line? Or do we just hit a wall? You tell me. I may not be in first place, and this may push me back, but if I stop to cry now I just lose my spot in the race. All this hard work to stop and cry? I don't think so!

I won't cry for this. It doesn't make sense to me. You cry cause you think its over but I can't cause it's just beginning. I heard a voice that said "Don't Panic!" I heard a voice that said,"Relax." So i took a deep breathe, I opened my eyes, and the same  people were standing there with the sad looks on their faces.

I wont cry for this. I wont cry because, yea this might be a right hook and a left jab, but this ain't a knockout. I've still got time.  I also know he watches me. And he takes care of me, and he forgives me for this. He forgives me because he know that I am better than this pain. I am better than this weakness. I am better than this sickness. I cant stop now, even if I am a little sick. I can't stop now, even if I am in some pain. I can't stop now, even if I am a little weak.

I wont cry for this. I wont cry because that would make me tired. We aren't tired from lack of sleep, we're tired from lack of faith. we're tired because we walk around carrying the weight of things that we cant control. Sometimes we just need to understand that this battle is not mine to fight. I can't do more than you allow me to, so why try. I'm gonna sit back and watch my FATHER beat this one because he is the only one that can.
I wont cry for this! I wont simply because THIS, this doesn't deserve my tears!


Brutal Telling from the Wings of a Reawakened Dark Angel by Jay Fallen (JAF) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.