Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Stupid Girl

As you may recall, in my last post I listed a small fraction of all the reasons little man, despises his mother. I believe its time to shed a little bit of light on my distaste for this demon slut. Granted I have been treated far worse by people in the past, my focus right now is on the "simple" stuff. The rest will come to light sooner or later as I work through things in life and progress through my reawakening.

Now as I'm sure sooner or later Demon Slut will stumble upon this hopefully once again it will help her realize why she will be dying a lonely old woman. She will remember how at one point she was my world and how she blew all of that away. She lost my love, my comfort, my unconditional love, the money and everything she could have ever wanted she would of had. She lost all of that with her heart that was so cold it could never show mercy. It could not show compassion. It was only good at faking. I may be a bastard at times but I'm not a coward. If only she would have opened her eyes she would have seen what she was doing and maybe she already did. Yeah I think she knew. She knew damn well what she was doing. Tried to crush my dreams and my will. Tried to hold me back and take me away from my family and friends. Almost succeeded at times. Breaking my spirit down even when I gave you everything I ever had but look who's happy now bitch. Lets count down the reasons why that happened.

1) It all started 2 months after dating. You would discourage me in anyway that you could. Then try to come loving up on me. Only to fulfill YOUR needs, while pushing mine aside. Putting me down in anyway you could just to get what you wanted. It suddenly became your way or the highway... well I should have told you to hit the highway... Or better yet to go play in traffic. You would tell me things that no woman should ever say to a man, especially when they aren't true. You started downgrading me and saying deceitful things about a subject that you knew was very sensitive to me. Something you originally told me that didn't matter to you.  That you would love me and that anyone that ever said different about those kinds of things only had lust for me. That you loved me for more than my body and money. Well I guess not considering you started using me in May.

2) May. That's about the time you decided you didn't need a job and weren't going to bother looking for one... You still don't have one to this very day... a year and 3 months later. You've turned offers down for no reason. You rather live off unemployment and the child support that is supposed to go towards your older son which doesn't live with you either. Hmm...

3) Theres also the fact that you refused to spend holidays with my family and your family. You only wanted time with yours (your druggy mother and delusional grandmother that no one takes care of). I wasn't going to push my family away so I went to spend Easter with my family. Later you saw picture of me with my sister. My sister you hadn't met since you never went to family gatherings. You accused me of cheating on you with her... Twice. From there on even after you met her it was always a fight. You even threw a fit when I took my mother to the mall and she got in a wreck on her way home... just a fender bender but still. Apparently my mothers health and mental state was less important than you getting your pussy played with. Since that's all you ever wanted from me anyway. Eventually I stopped seeing my family and friends as much just so you wouldn't fight and even when I did go because you told me to... you would still start shit and make sure I was miserable the entire time.

4) Theres the fact you ruined every Holiday including fathers day. You blamed those ruined days on me as well. Yet anytime you needed or wanted me to be around it was a huge pitty party telling me how horrible of a job I was doing and how you were more important than anything thing else I needed to take care of. You weren't there for any of the tragedies in my life... you always had something more important that needed taking care of. Took me a while to realize how much of a selfish bitch you really are.

5) The fact that you always crushed my dreams telling me how I would never be able to do this or that. Laughed at anything personal I tried to tell you, looking for support. Pointed out every little mistake I ever made. Would use my weaknesses such as dyslexia, against me. You would yell at me anytime I would try to read. You would yell and tell me how stupid I was when I tried to help your son with his homework because he too has a learning disability. Yet I didn't see you trying to help him.

7) Theres sexual abuse that we wont really go into here on this site. Was already mentioned but not in detail or very clear but you know what I was talking about so that's all that matters. Theres the obvious verbal abuse. Then some physical abuse. You hit me in the face countless times for being "stupid" or fucking something up (making a mistake.) Not to mention the few glasses you threw at me for no reason other than I was innocently in your way.

8) I tried to get help with the things that seemed to be my fault. The things that were causing us problems. Things from my past. Things that you made me believe were the cause of all the abuse you were giving me. I presented the idea to you and showed you websites from the therapist I thought I should see. I suggested you go with me since you said 5 months prior to the day of that discussion that you would go to one for your problems. You said I shouldn't go and should wait. I went anyways against your advice. Then you yelled at me and once again down graded me. Yet you're the one seeing 2 therapist's and a psychologist all at the same time right now... Who's the crazy one with double standards?

9) Theres the time I decided to open up to you about my sexuality. Why? Because I felt you should know about my past as well me know about yours. I needed to know if you had a problem with the real me. I also needed you to understand why it upset me when you made off comments about people. I opened up to you and told you about my sexual past. Explained the fact that I am Bisexual. I also told you that I would continue to be faithful to you as I had been for the 6 months prior to this discussion. I explained all of it. I told you the past male partners I had been with (only cause I am still friends with a couple of them and always will be.) I explained every thing I could. I told you why certain things you or your friends said bothered me. You promised you would stop and that it didn't bother you because you had several gay friends. (which you hadn't seen since high school) Yet the insults and rude comments about same sex couples and bisexuals increased in volume. Obvious you didn't care about my feelings.

10) Theres when I had to cancel plans or had to put them off a couple of day due to family emergencies and you threw a hissy fit each time instead of showing concern. The time I had cancel going to some guys bbq party or whatever, when neither of us knew him outside of facebook. I told you that we may not make it because I had to go to NC to help fix my great grandmas home that was basically destroyed from the hurricane. I told you I would be back as soon as possible. I missed your birthday which I tried to spend as much time on the phone and such as possible that day and told you I would make it up when I got home. I sent you a personalized teddy bear which you later destroyed saying it wasn't good enough and then in the same sentence told me you didn't want anything materialistic. WTF!? Anyways, Since I was in the area I decided to go to a benefit for my military friends that were killed two months prior. That pissed you off as well. I came home in time for us to go to the party but I was sick I tried to push through it so you wouldn't get mad but I ended up with a fever of 105 and we had to miss it while I was hospitalized for a week. During that time I saw you once. My aunt also passed away at the age of 39 that week. my father was hysterical that his baby sister was dead. I told you that morning what had happened and that I was going to be busy comforting him. Instead of understanding that you acted like an immature 3 year old and sent me text messages that said something along the lines of "akhdlgasgjhsdkghasdjghuiehjasf" about 10 times and claimed it was an accident. Then threw a bitch fit and called me about 15 times. That entire month you were not there for me. You were very immature and selfish. I broke up with you 3 weeks later.

11) There's the fact that during ALL of this, you pawned your children off on me. After forcing them BOTH into my life and removing them several times. Bitching anytime I tried to give you advice. Telling me that some how my advice made you look like a bad parent. Well I'm sorry if your child is out fucking everything in sight, doing drugs and drinking and yelling at you and hates you at the age of 14/15 then you're obviously doing something wrong. At least one good thing has come of that. I now have your son and he will have a better life than you could have ever given him. Too bad the other is just as blind as you now and will fuck up his life and be as bad as you if not worse if he doesn't wake up soon.

12) How about all the times you've cheated on me. So far I've found out about 4 different men. I found this out after I left you. If I had known while we were dating then it would have ended a lot sooner.

13) There's how you've told me that I am to blame for my daughters passing. I am not. Though it is hard for me to truly believe in my heart that I couldn't have prevented it I know that I wasn't to blame. Its just another thing you like to hold over my head and make me feel like shit.

14) The way you couldn't care less several times that I lost best friends. You told me you could care less that my firefighter friend that died and went on about how he was weak and many other things I wont say here. You didn't care when another friend of mine was killed. You didn't bother to ask who until days later. You just blew it off and pretended it didn't happen. You basically said oh how sad every time I lost someone in my life. That was all... then basically went on about how horrible of a person they were or how a circumstance in their life basically made them deserve it. You truly are a cold hearted bitch.

15) My dog hates you too that should have been a major sign from day one. He is very important in my life. He is part of my family. He has never bit anyone in his life and he clearly came very close to biting you after the way you treated him and everyone around him.

There are many many other things I could go into. I hate you for all the reasons listed in my last post as well. All of this stuff is pretty light. I find it more difficult to write a post about you and I. It must be something I still need to work on or the fact that I don't want to terrorise my readers with much more of your horrid ways. I have much more joyful things I could be writing about and I will do that very soon. Just needed to get some of this out and into the open. I am stopping this post here before I get angry and ruin my day. At least there are a couple of good things that came from all of this. MY son. And that I am now seeking help for my other past relationships that were worse than you... and help for all the shit you've done to me. I will still fly with my broken wings and succeed further in my life than you ever have in yours. I don't need some codependent, selfish, obsessive, jealous, psycho bitch hanging around in my life. In just a couple of months there will no longer be any trace of you in my life. If we're lucky you will be in jail.

Anyways thank you all for reading. Hopefully you have a wonderful day. If there is some evil person like this in your life... I urge you to ditch them now while you still can.

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Brutal Telling from the Wings of a Reawakened Dark Angel by Jay Fallen (JAF) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.


  1. I always hated that whore. I just pretended to like her to avoid problems. I figured it was time to let you make your own mistakes. It was a difficult choice. I am glad you are with someone else now and much happier. I am proud of all of the progress you have made over the past year. Keep your head up. Much love.

  2. This J, this is exactly what I was talking about in our text messages, get it out, don't keep it in, that is where it grows and festers. YOU know you had nothing to do with your daughter's death, that is what matters, don't let anyone else try to play that game. Trust in yourself, your feelings, your intuition. Most of all remember you don't need anyone else to make you happy, you make yourself happy first and the rest will fall into place. I am so proud of you and the way your opening up to the world. Your doing a great job. Now dammit, get out there and find me that good looking cowboy in tight jeans, boots and a big hat!